Custodians of Stairs
MS 1943.75 · Guilds, orders and offices
Custodians of Stairs
The Custodians of Stairs are a clerical-administrative cadre responsible for the maintenance, arbitration, and ritual observance of designated stairwells within the Tower. Their jurisdiction, as outlined in a disputed annex to the Third Concordance, is formally limited to "those stairs not otherwise claimed," a clause that has been the source of continuous litigation since the cadre's inception. The Custodians report to the Department of Applied Metaphysics and maintain a permanent station on the landing between floors 217 and 218.
Founding and Jurisdictional Conflict
The cadre was established by the Senior Librarians in Year 341 of the Current Catalogue, ostensibly to resolve petty disputes over stair-right-of-way and wear-and-tear assessments that were overwhelming the Custodians of the Vertical. However, the founding charter failed to explicitly define which stairs fell under the new cadre's purview. This created an immediate and enduring conflict with the Custodians of the Aperture, who claim oversight of all apertures facilitating movement, and the Custodians of the Vertical, whose authority over "all means of vertical transit" under Clause 44 is seemingly absolute.
The current state of affairs is governed by the Solomonic Ruling of Spiral 89, which cedes authority over Major Stairs to the Custodians of the Vertical, authority over stairs contiguous with major apertures to the Custodians of the Aperture, and leaves "all remaining, interstitial, and ambiguous stairs" to the Custodians of Stairs. In practice, this has meant their domain is largely composed of servant stairs, emergency stairs, and the notoriously irregular Minor Stairs.
Rituals and Responsibilities
The primary duty of the Custodians of Stairs is the performance of the Monthly Abrasion Audit. On the first day of each calendrical month, a Custodian ascends or descends every stair within their jurisdiction, measuring the depth of wear on each tread with a calibrated brass gauge. The results are recorded in triplicate: one copy for the cadre's archives, one for the Department of Applied Metaphysics, and one ceremonially deposited into the Central Aperture. The cadre is also responsible for:
- Arbitrating disputes between pedestrians regarding right-of-way and pacing.
- Enforcing the prohibition against running, defined as "a gait wherein both feet are simultaneously air-borne between treads."
- Maintaining the ritual cleanliness of landings, which involves the daily sweeping and anointing of designated landing stones with a lightly-scented mineral oil.
- Issuing permits for the stationary use of stairs (e.g., for meditation or unofficial commerce), as distinct from transit.
The Classification Disputes
The ambiguous definition of their jurisdiction has led to several famous classification disputes, which are settled by periodic Review Panels convened by the Senior Librarians. Notable cases include:
- The Spiral 117, Aperture Beta Incident (Year 512)
- A stairwell officially registered as a Major Stair was found to have narrowed, due to sedimentary accretion, to a width of only nine armspans. The Custodians of Stairs argued successfully for a temporary reclassification, managing the stair for seven years until a restoration project returned it to compliance.
- The Endless Landing (Ongoing)
- A single, thirty-meter-long stone step on Floor 419, which some architectural schematics classify as a "degraded stair" and others as a "hallway with inclination." The Custodians of Stairs currently perform daily abrasion audits on it, pending a final ruling.
- The Minor Stairs
- While the seven pre-Concordant stairwells between floors 105-107 are universally acknowledged to fall under this cadre's authority, the precise point at which a Minor Stair ceases to be "minor" (e.g., through widening) and triggers a jurisdictional transfer remains undefined in any Fifth Concordance annex.
Hierarchy and Station
The cadre is small, consisting of never more than twelve active Custodians at any time. Rank is denoted by the length and material of one's measuring gauge: Novices carry a one-foot iron rule, Senior Custodians a three-foot brass gauge, and the Chief Custodian a five-foot graduated rod of lacquered hardwood. Their station, known officially as the Landing Post, is a spartan office built into the wall of the stairwell between floors 217 and 218. It contains filing cabinets for abrasion records, a small shrine to forgotten ascendants, and a winch mechanism for lowering supplies and messages into the shaft below.
Relationship with Other Authorities
Inter-cadre relations are formal and governed by strict protocol. The Custodians of Stairs are required to file a Notice of Intent to Audit with the Custodians of the Vertical 24 hours before beginning their monthly rounds on any stair that lies within ten paces of a Vertical Tram shaft. Conversely, they receive, but are not required to act upon, quarterly reports from the Custodians of the Aperture regarding air currents and particulate counts on "their" stairs. Their most frequent collaboration is with the Tower Guides, who rely on the Custodians' intimate knowledge of lesser-used stairs to devise alternative routes during periods of high ceremonial traffic on the Major Stairs.
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Referenced by
- MS 4488.68 The Concordances
- MS 7820.40 Directorate of Boundary Arbitration
- MS 3839.30 Non-Sequential Stairwells
- MS 8990.69 Custodians of the Silent Stacks
- MS 9494.03 Reckoning of Stairs
- MS 9770.35 Custodians of Static Artifacts
- MS 4365.47 Magnifying Lens of Fixed Focal Length
- MS 5308.28 School of Fixed Points
- MS 2775.84 Custodians of the Margin
- MS 3317.20 Warden of Boundary Arbitration
- MS 5938.25 Custodians of the Gilded Silence
- MS 8413.42 Class Δ (Disputed Decimal)
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